Crazy And Love Are Synonyms
by FluffleNeCharka
Summary: Rare couplings may not make sense, but they're never dull. 50sentences themed fanfic done for various rare couples. Chapters up so far: WayneLucille, Check MateyIngrid, and PeabodyFillmore.
1. WayneLucille

Author's Note: I have issues. I don't know why the hell I wrote this when I have all these other fics to do. I just can't help myself. I ran around all day with my nephews and niece in 90 degree weather shuffling them all over the artist's open air market in the park and downed a pound of kettle corn, and now I can't sleep. I write when I can't sleep.

So, uh, Lucille/Wayne for the win, I guess.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**#01 - Walking**

When they walk together, his arm gingerly wrapped around her waist, Lucille can't help but think he's adorable.

**#02 - Waltz**

He closes his eyes and remembers the feel of her petal soft hair against his cheek as they waltzed, and it gives him strength to do his job now.

**#03 - Wishes**

The first time she wrapped her arms around him, his first thought was he wished the embrace could last forever.

**#04 - Wonder**

She can't help but wonder what a smart, handsome boy like Wayne sees in an overdramatic Theater Club student like herself.

**#05 - Worry**

Wayne doesn't worry about people hurting him or his Patrol – just Lucille.

**#06 - Whimsy**

On a whim, one day, she weaves flowers into Wayne's hair, and he's too nice to do anything but smile.

**#07 - Waste/Wasteland**

He'll never tell her about the darker side of X or the cases from there that haunt him.

**#08 - Whiskey and rum**

Wayne only drank the vile stuff to impress Lucille's overly hill billy father; he chokes on it repeatedly.

**#09 - War**

When he discovers the Theater Club has organized a water balloon Civil War reenactment, he immediately knows 'Theater Club' is code for 'Lucille'.

**#10 - Weddings**

"If we got our parents to sign this, we could get married right now – Wayne, darlin', why are you staring at me like that?"

**#11 - Birthday**

There's something to be said, Lucille's father thinks, for a young man who shows up to his girlfriend's birthday in a tuxedo.

**#12 - Blessing**

Wayne isn't sure how to earn the blessing of Lucille's family, but after the marriage comment, he's not so sure he wants to.

**#13 - Bias**

Maybe she's just biased, being from the South and all, yet Lucille can't help thinking Wayne's Northern accent is adorable.

**#14 - Burning**

Lucille and Wayne met in an incident involving five lollipops, a shampoo bottle, newspaper, and a burning barn.

**#15 - Breathing**

Her breath always catches in her throat when he looks at her with those smoldering brown eyes and speaks to her in a low, quiet voice that only she is meant to hear.

**#16 - Breaking**

He has never been sure how to vocalize how broken he felt under the Patrol Sheriff's rule, but when Lucille takes him in her arms, he's sure she understands.

**#17 - Belief**

Wayne doesn't particularly like her church, but it's _hers,_ so he won't say a word.

**#18 - Balloon**

"A water balloon war isn't a proper date," he informs her, smiling despite himself, "It's just a totally _awesome_ one."

**#19 - Balcony**

She roped him into the school's rendition of Romeo and Juliet – guess what parts they got!

**#20 - Bane**

For Christmas, she got him a shirt that says 'Shakespeare; the bane of my mortal existence, 'tis.'

**#21 - Quiet**

When he's most serious, he goes silent, and that's when his lips and hands and heart say the most to her.

**#22 - Quirks**

Her entire wardrobe is filled with dresses, giant sunhats, sandals and dramatic scarves.

**#23 - Question**

"Are you…" his jaw dropped, incredulous, as he glanced between his best friend and his girlfriend. "Are you _jealous_ of _Fillmore_?!"

**#24 - Quarrel**

In the South, most fights end with the guy throwing the girl out of the house, but they aren't most couples and he runs out with tears streaming down his face.

**#25 - Quitting**

She quits being angry within, literally, seconds, and tackles him to the ground, pressing gentle and soothing apologies all over him in the form of kisses.

**#26 - Jump**

Fillmore cannot stop laughing for ten minutes when he finds out Wayne has entered into a jump rope competition with Lucille, and Wayne's face doesn't stop being red for a good five minutes after that.

**#27 - Jester**

"I'm not playing that part!" he insists, although privately, he _does_ like the hat.

**#28 - Jousting**

"What's mattress jousting, and why is it illegal?" Lucille had asked, reading over Fillmore's file; she hadn't expected Wayne to take her by the hand and call in the rest of the Patrol for a public demonstration.

**#29 - Jewel**

The night after their first fight, she finds a silver ring with her birthstone sitting on her porch, along with a note saying 'I'm sorry'.

**#30 - Just**

She can't stop thanking him for taking the Patrol Sheriff down, but he always shrugs it off as just being the right thing to do.

**#31 - Smirk**

He's normally a good boy – then he smirks, his eyes twinkle and you had best get to runnin' _now_.

**#32 - Sorrow**

It's the only emotion she has a hard time portraying onstage.

**#33 - Stupidity**

Whenever she starts to get mad at him, she looks down at the ring on her finger and decides not to repeat her past stupidity, even if it means letting him win all the arguments.

**#34 - Serenade**

How Fillmore talked him into this, Wayne thinks as he hauls the boombox closer to Lucille's window, he'll never know.

**#35 - Sarcasm**

"Oh, yeah, I _totally_ think you and Ingrid are just friends. And Lucille and I hate each other," he adds, rolling his eyes for emphasis.

**#36 - Sordid**

Wayne helped turn Fillmore around who helped turn Ingrid around who helped turn Malika around, but only Lucille knows that someone had to help him turn around from his sordid past before he'd even met Fillmore.

**#37 - Soliloquy**

'The Soliloquy of the Greeks' is such a lame, long winded play that Wayne feels he deserves an award for sitting through it.

**#38 - Sojourn**

The best days of his life have been spent on Lucille's front porch, talking about everything and nothing.

**#39 - Share**

One day, Lucille brings a bucket of ice cream to school for lunch and they share it with all their friends, laughing and flicking ice cream soup at each other.

**#40 - Solitary**

When Wayne says 'I need some alone time', what he means is 'I need to go listen to music and stare at the ceiling for an hour'.

**#41 - Nowhere**

This place is the best part of the middle of nowhere special, because Lucille's here.

**#42 - Neutral**

In the war between Southern football lovers and church goers, Wayne and Lucille are the neutral people hanging out at the bowling alley.

**#43 - Nuance**

He will never understand all the twists and nuances of Southern slang.

**#44 - Near**

When the fair comes to town, Lucille's screams during the rollercoaster are nearly totally genuinely fearful, with only a little bit of dramatic flair to them – it's a rare moment.

**#45 - Natural**

She doesn't need make up because she's a natural beauty, and he never fails to remind her of that.

**#46 - Horizon**

Dear Fillmore, today I watched the sun rise during the rain in the middle of a slush-tastic and freezing January; I take this to be proof that you're right and I am, indeed, whipped.

**#47 - Valiant**

"Why are we watching the World War Two pigeon movie again?" he grumbles as his girlfriend hushes him.

**#48 - Virtuous**

The church drama team, he muses, combines Lucille's overdramatic personality and under appreciated sense of virtue into one solid moment of weird.

**#49 - Victory**

When he finds out she's a cheerleader, he joking asks if she wants him to teach her the X Middle School victory cheer, and ten minutes later he's become the first male cheerleader in the history of the school.

**#50 – Defeat**

The homecoming team may have lost, but Wayne survived being on the bottom of the cheerleading pyramid, so he considers himself a winner.


	2. Check MateyIngrid

**#01 – Comfort**

Somehow she's comforted by his silly slang and over the top clothes; they're calming precisely because they're silly.

**#02 – Kiss**

It was quick and sweet and then he was gone, bolting like a frightened rabbit into the night, afraid of rejection.

**#03 – Soft**

She says she hates him, but her eyes are soft when she smiles at him in class.

**#04 – Pain**

It's not that he doesn't have problems or pain, she realizes, it's that he hides them by being goofy and annoying… mostly annoying.

**#05 – Potatoes**

His first rap album is called 'Ode To A Punk-Ass French Fry', and his girlfriend is the only one in the room that doesn't laugh at him.

**#06 – Rain**

He drags her to a rap battle in the rain once, as an impromptu (and very fun) date.

**#07 – Chocolate**

He's allergic to chocolate, so she waves a Hershey bar at him when she wants him to shut up.

**#08 – Happiness**

"He makes me happy," she explains to Fillmore, "the rap is just karma paying me back for my delinquent past."

**#09 – Telephone**

"Yo, 'Grid," he says happily into her ear, "Check it, we're gonna go to that concert you were all happy for. Ain't I the best?"

**#10 – Ears**

When she admits she's scared to get her ears pierced, he shrugs and tells her 'it ain't all that it's cracked up to be anyway, sweet thing'.

**#11 – Name**

"I'm dating Check-Loony," Ingrid tells people, when she doesn't call him 'Mittens' just to piss him off.

**#12 – Sensual**

"I appreciate the Star Trek reference," she says stoically, "But nude fan dances don't do it for me."

**#13 – Death**

For Halloween, she's Neo from the Matrix and he's the neon pink Grim Reaper.

**#14 – Sex**

About halfway through Sex Ed class, she hisses for him to stop giggling; he does, but now the class is snickering at him.

**#15 – Touch**

Her hand on his shoulder is all it takes to calm down his pre chess tournament jitters.

**#16 – Weakness**

If he shakes when it's all over and lays his head against the wall, breathing slowly, Ingrid doesn't or pretends not to see this moment of weakness, because she knows it embarrasses him.

**#17 – Tears**

They both don't cry – they glare, cuss, snap, their eyes narrow, and they can verbally tear you a new one, but they won't ever cry, and it's a little freaky.

**#18 – Speed**

"Slow down, slow down. Your boyfriend overdosed on _what_?"

**#19 – Wind**

The windchimes Ingrid left in his hospital room are the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

**#20 – Freedom**

There's something freeing about knowing his girlfriend doesn't care that he's popular.

**#21 – Life**

She's the calm, unemotional rock of stability in the whirlwind that is his crazy life.

**#22 – Jealousy**

Ingrid is never jealous, but Check Matey is never _not_ jealous.

**#23 – Hands**

"Matching zebra print rings!" he exclaims to his girlfriend, eyes aglow as she slips her onto her hand, "Awesome as pie in the sky, amirite?"

**#24 – Taste**

His cooking is nearly lethal, and she tells him this with his family all gathered in one room, as if they were having a serious intervention.

**#25 – Devotion**

He's devoted to three things: rap, chess, and Ingrid Third.

**#26 – Forever**

"You just rhymed 'forever' with 'lobster'-" Fillmore starts to say, but Ingrid cuts him off, shaking her head sadly. "Don't bother, Cornelius. It's hopeless."

**#27 – Blood**

"If you ever threaten my boyfriend again, the entire NYPD will raid this building and you'd better believe there'll be blood involved!" Police Officer Third snaps coldly at the rival rapper, pulling her shaking boyfriend close with one arm and reaching meaningfully for her gun with the other.

**#28 – Sickness**

When she's sick for a week with the flu, he stays and talks to her the whole time, happily.

**#29 – Melody**

Only his girlfriend gets to diss his melodies and verses.

**#30 – Star**

About twenty seconds into his rap version of 'When You Wish Upon A Star', she puts in her earplugs.

**#31 – Home**

One day, he promises, he'll have a giant house with a fleet of equally expensive cars out front.

**#32 – Confusion**

Fillmore was under the impression, at first, that Ingrid and Check Matey were both trying to pull a fast one over on him – and by at first, I mean, for the first five months.

**#33 – Fear**

When he is actually quiet for any amount of time, she either assumes he's in trouble or terrified.

**#34 - Lightning/Thunder**

"You're afraid of WHAT?" Ingrid asks, but thankfully, she doesn't laugh.

**#35 – Bonds**

"Fillmore? Can you come over to my place? Check Matey and have all our toes bound together in Chinese finger traps. Huh? Oh, don't ask. You don't want to know why."

**#36 – Market**

"If you rap the names of cereals for a single second longer, we're getting a divorce even though we're not married."

**#37 – Technology**

The day he gets her the most high tech cell phone on the planet as a birthday gift, custom made to have Abe Lincoln's face on the back and a Chupacabra on the front, she realizes he truly _does_ understand her.

**#38 – Gift**

She likes to get him little gifts just because; he likes to give her loud songs of thanks in public places.

**#39 – Smile**

When his smile is genuine, Ingrid can see it in his eyes and know he's sincere.

**#40 – Innocence**

Ingrid shut her eyes tightly, planting her face in her palm; her boyfriend had just rhymed innocence with oranges, so it helped to close her eyes and remember she liked him for his sweetness, not his songwriting ability.

**#41 – Completion**

The line 'you complete me' is cheesy coming from anyone else, but he _means_ it, and he didn't say yo anywhere in that sentence, so it hits home.

**#42 – Clouds**

He doesn't ever tell her this, yet sometimes, in class, he looks at clouds and sees her face in them, and it brightens up his whole day.

**#43 – Sky**

"What's your religion?" he asks her one night as they stare at the starry sky, and she responds, in complete seriousness. "Pastafarianism."

**#44 – Heaven**

"A sci-fi convention followed by a Japanese language seminar, and then two whole days at the Harry Potter rock festival," Ingrid gushed, a rare content smile on her face, "I'm in heaven."

**#45 – Hell**

"Yeah, well, I'm – somewhere else," he says, catching the meaningful look her protective ex-boyfriend Fillmore sent him.

**#46 – Sun**

The days they spent together in the summertime hiding from the sun in her living room, sprawled out on the floor staring at the ceiling and talking, were when they really began to grow close.

**#47 – Moon**

Check Matey lovingly refers to his girlfriend as Moony, because 'she's as pale and glowing as the moon, yo'.

**#48 – Waves**

"You can't swim?" she asked as she gently pulled him into the shallow waves, "Okay, then I'll teach you."

**#49 – Hair**

She dyed his hair for him as his birthday present even though she knew his parents would be pissed, and she used lemon juice, Kool Aid and conditioner instead of dye because she's Ingrid Third and that is how she rolls.

**#50 – Supernova**

He's at a Planetarium watching a presentation on super novas when he could be playing Virtual Chess 300 – _damn_, he thinks to himself, _I really AM in love_.


	3. PeabodyFillmore

Author's Note: You know you're not right in the head when a single line on someone else's profile inspires you to write a new pairing into existence. Oh, and this is slash, by the way, even if it's mostly one sided, so for those who dislike that, hit the back button.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**#01 - Ring**

The day he receives a custom engraved ring that says 'your momma dresses you like a sofa' is the day Peabody admits, to himself at least, that his fashion sense might be lacking.

**#02 - Hero**

Heroes aren't supposed to fall in love with villains, but Fillmore isn't a villain anymore and Peabody can hardly be called a hero.

**#03 - Memory**

The most memorable thing about Peabody was how much Fillmore despised him at first.

**#04 - Box**

"What are these?" Peabody asks, taking the box in his hands, and Fillmore smirks devilishly before replying, "Fake hall passes I caught Officer Mandy selling on the side while you were busy searching my desk."

**#05 - Run**

When Fillmore saves Peabody's ungrateful ass from a rampaging robot dinosaur, it's all the white boy can do to say 'thanks' before the Officer and dinosaur run past in a blur of motion.

**#06 - Hurricane**

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?!" Fillmore demands, pinning the other boy against a locker, "There's a hurricane warning and you're gonna hang around to make sure you got a good grade?!"

**#07 - Wings**

Well, no, privately Peabody was worried about the Safety Patrol, or, more accurately, Fillmore, but he can't say that because Fillmore's touch has made him feel like there are butterflies batting their wings around inside him.

**#08 - Cold**

Once upon a time there was a mugger who thought it would be a good idea to knock Peabody out cold, and a Safety Patrol Officer who thought it would be an equally good idea to knock the mugger out cold as karmatic justice.

**#09 - Red**

When asked what color his eyes are, Fillmore replies, "Red, since I stayed up all night patrolling the main campus since some_body_ is paranoid, if you catch my drift."

**#10 - Drink**

The humiliating thing about being caught with vodka is that Fillmore was the one who caught him with it.

**#11 - Midnight**

_How many times,_ Peabody wonders, turning over in his bed, _will I spend my entire night hating myself for being such a – what was that word Officer Fillmore used – douchesofa?_

**#12 - Temptation**

When his eyes wander in class, he has a tendency to stare at Fillmore, and it's rather addicting that he hasn't been caught yet.

**#13 - View**

It's not that Peabody doesn't know he's a jerk, it's that he doesn't view it as a problem because no one cares about him anyway.

**#14 - Music**

The only thing that Peabody truly hates about Fillmore is that godawful hip-hop the other boy loves so much.

**#15 - Silk**

Officer Fillmore bit his lip, trying not to laugh, "You keep silk drawers in your locker? Who would want to steal – oh, come on, O'Farrell, stop laughing, at least the days of the week aren't written on Sofa Boy's undies!"

**#16 - Cover**

Peabody is momentarily stunned speechless at the sight of Fillmore in a wig and dress until the other boy hisses, "Stop staring or you'll blow my cover!"

**#17 - Promise**

"I _promise_ you," Fillmore tells Ingrid when she finds them tangled in a broom closet, Peabody in Fillmore's arms, "This is not what it looks like."

**#18 - Dream**

And no, no it's not, they were shoved in here by Sonny, but Peabody can dream, right?

**#19 - Candle**

"You think I'm selling illegal earwax candles?" Cornelius repeated, crossing his arms. "Man, your excuses are weak. Isn't checking me out in class enough?"

**#20 - Talent**

When Peabody's response to this question is to go beet red, Fillmore smirks and leans back in his chair, feeling his ability to read people was a somewhat evil talent.

**#21 - Silence**

After Fillmore makes it clear he knows about Peabody's crush on him (and is rather cool with it), Peabody avoids him for two weeks out of fear of saying something and making a fool out of himself even more than he already has.

**#22 - Journey**

Only when Fillmore makes the journey downtown to Peabody's house to apologize do they both realize that hey, they don't hate each other anymore.

**#23 - Fire**

There was a fire in the building and a homemade pipe bomb set to go off, Fillmore explained later, so he had to tackle Peabody out of the way – that they ended up nose to nose was just an accident.

**#24 - Strength**

"I hate you," Peabody grumbles as Fillmore grins, having beaten him soundly at weight lifting, "Just because I can't lift ten pounds doesn't mean you're better than me."

**#25 - Mask**

When Officer Cornelius Fillmore instructed him to put on a Mardi Gras colored glitter mask, take a rubber chicken and run, he, of course, did so, because surely X's star officer wouldn't prank anyone as high ranking as Peabody, right?

**#26 - Ice**

"It's ten degrees out here, we're trapped, and they stole our jackets-" Fillmore froze midsentence, cringing as Peabody stepped closer. "If you tell anybody about this, I will drop a sofa on you."

**#27 - Fall**

"You wouldn't have tripped if you had tied your shoelaces," Peabody sneers, and a moment later falls flat on his own face, shoes tied together by Fillmore's lightning fast hands.

**#28 - Forgotten**

Nobody remembered Peabody's birthday, not even his parents or friends; it made him remember why he hated people in the first place until Fillmore surprised him with a celebratory cupcake.

**#29 - Dance**

"This next song," the DJ announced, "Goes out to a Mister Sofa, from the entire Safety Patrol, who wish you a happy non-denominational winter season and politically correct New Year!"

**#30 - Body**

Peabody originally went over to the other side of the dance floor to yell at Fillmore and tell him he wasn't funny, but then his lovestruck brain realized the black boy was in a white tuxedo and his train of thought dissolved into mindless staring.

**#31 - Sacred**

"Look here, man," Fillmore snarls with more passion than anyone Peabody's ever met, "This fish is sacred and as long as I'm in temporary control of this Patrol, you are to address him as Officer Niles!"

**#32 - Farewells**

"You'll be in my heart, no matter where you are," Fillmore sang out slowly, taking Peabody's hands as Ingrid and Tehama burst into barely contained giggles.

**#33 - World**

"Oh, yes," Peabody replied, in total and unenthusiastic monotone, "You are my world. How will I go on without you for an entire summer?"

**#34 - Formal**

Peabody is way too formal, so Fillmore decides to let a few pranksters drop water balloons on him to get him to lighten up – although the official story is that Fillmore just couldn't stop them.

**#35 - Fever**

It's Disco Day at X Middle School, and damn if Fillmore isn't going to torment Peabody by singing 'Night Fever' every time he sees him.

**#36 - Laugh**

One day, Fillmore will get that stick in the mud overly repressed sofa boy to laugh, no matter what it takes.

**#37 - Lies**

At some point, their 'I hate you's became a lot less heartfelt, to the point where, by sophomore year, it's more a greeting than anything else.

**#38 - Forever**

Thanks to Fillmore, Peabody will have to endure being called Sofa Boy forever.

**#39 - Overwhelmed**

When, in a rare moment of good humor, Peabody gives Fillmore a charm bracelet with a tiny silver sofa on it, Fillmore is actually so moved by the gesture he can't speak… because he's too busy laughing.

**#40 - Whisper**

On the last day of high school, knowing full well he and Fillmore would be going to different colleges, Peabody kissed the other boy and whispered, "I hate you" before running off, face beat red and mind giddy from what he'd done.

**#41 - Wait**

Fillmore wanted to call after him to wait up, but then again, Peabody always a nutjob; maybe this whole crush thing was better left alone.

**#42 - Talk**

Their high school reunion is really, really awkward, and Fillmore finds it hard to talk to Peabody because the other boy has gotten cuter with time, sofa clothes notwithstanding.

**#43 - Search**

Even though they once hated each other, flash forward ten years and they're standing beside each other, sipping punch and searching out old friends in the reunion's huge crowd.

**#44 - Hope**

Peabody hopes that, now that he's doing paper for the city's police department, he and Fillmore can grow closer together.

**#45 - Eclipse**

Unfortunately, about a week after he had that thought, Fillmore is shot on duty and worry eclipses all else in his life.

**#46 - Gravity**

No one ever thought about the gravity of being a police officer until Fillmore took a bullet for a civilian he didn't know.

**#47 - Highway**

When Peabody visits him in the hospital, the black man grins and says coolly, "They're naming a highway after me, you know."

**#48 - Unknown**

No one is sure how Fillmore survived a shot through the heart, but then again, no cares so long as he's okay.

**#49 - Lock**

"You picked the lock on my briefcase?" he asks in shock, but then he smiles. "Nice to have you back, Fillmore."

**#50 – Breathe**

When Fillmore's purposefully-loud Darth Vader breathing doesn't even phase him anymore, Peabody decides that maybe he's in love – or maybe he's just gone insane from all these shenanigans to the point where nothing will ever annoy him again.


End file.
